Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
