We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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