I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Sorry about my life...
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