Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
