ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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