i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
