guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
