Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
