# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
