Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
