Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
