so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
