I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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