so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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