I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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