we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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