ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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