Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
