if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
