i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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