So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
