these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
