im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
