my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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