just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
