If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
