and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
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A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
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Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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