Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
