so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
