I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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