I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
