I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
