Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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