just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
