help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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