she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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