Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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