fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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