wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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