OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize