so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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