yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
