Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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