oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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