I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize