this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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