I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
How external is "for external use only"?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
