Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
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I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
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It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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