She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
