oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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