Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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