redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
