Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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