I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
