Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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