She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She bit a glass in half.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Can you repeat that, but with context?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
