I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
